Sunday, July 15, 2007

Moving on.

I stayed busy this last week. I did some walking to burn off the energy. Played ball with the rest of the pack, cleaned house from top to bottom. Removed Curly's crate from the house and stored away his diapers.
The farm does not wait for grief to pass. It does not allow a day spent in a bathrobe. Sheep rest in the barn in the heat of the day and chew cud. Water tanks need scrubbing out and re-filling. There is a scouring lamb that needs to be treated for coxy. Another has a swollen knee and needs antibiotics.
Eggs need gathering. The gardens need watering, the trees need spraying, the thistle needs Roundup. The zuchinni, yellow squash, and strawberries need to be harvested almost daily. And three other dogs demand my love.
Weekend work on the pond continues. Friends and family visit and make me laugh.
Earlier last week, I hit the local humane societies and animal control, a frenzied searching. Rushing by cages of faces. Some excited, some terrified, some beyond caring.
On the way home, I felt fatigued.
What I'm looking for is not out there. No matter where I search, I won't find him. He is gone. Even if I get another pug, it won't be Curl.
But compared to those poor dogs in those kennels, we have given our dogs the best of lives. They will live and die never knew how bad life can be for a dog.

I saw a really good movie last week, "Evan Almighty". I felt very at peace after seeing it. The message was that God has a plan for our lives, and His plan may not be the same as what we plan for ourselves. We need to trust Him.
The worse thing imaginable can happen to us, our greatest fears can come true, and we can not only survive the crisis, but come out stronger in the end.
We become what what God is molding us to be.


Michelle at Boulderneigh said...

All true. We discussed faith in our study class yesterday. We say how important it is, we pray for it, but when God sends the very trials through which faith will grow, we yelp and moan. I guess we'd rather He hand faith to us on a silver platter, but it never comes like that. Thankfully, He also never leaves us during those tough times, but shows us His love and care in many ways, not the least of which are the creatures that need us and give us love. From one shepherd who follows the Shepherd to another: (((hugs)))!

stephen rouse said...

You are a terrific person Juliann. I very much admire your example. Thank you for your posts and thank you for your friendship.


Nancy K. said...

"All of my ex-husbands" say that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, they want to come back as one of my animals...

I suspect you and I are a lot alike that way.


If and when the time is right, you will open your heart to another,very lucky, canine. Until then, you have those other wonderful pals who are also missing Curly Joe. When my Rottie died, I got angry at Sadie because she walked around the house crying for days. Ut finally occurred to me that she missed him too! Once I realized that (and that she wasn't just whining to irritate me!) I was able to bond with her and she helped me through my grief.

Juliann said...

Good morning, gang. :)
Michelle, I'm learning that if we ask God to give us a lesson, we had better be prepared for what he sends us! Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.
Stephen, you have always been a real pal. Thanks for letting me vent on the phone last night, I feel so much better now! ;)
Nancy, I made the obsevation that the Frenchie was sulking around the house. Sitting in the corner with ears down. I don't know how much they know, but they know that something is different. I am giving them lots of extra hugs and it comforts us all.
Hey, I heard you are coming to MFF this year?

Kathy L. said...

What a wonderful post, Juliann. I am always astounded at our resiliency and the depth of heart we all posess, but it's unknown until tested.
After my father passed so suddenly, we lost two long-lived and dear friend cats, a cousin and a dear friend - all in less than a year. I didn't think I could take any more, but soon realized the lesson was that Life does indeed go on, as you have said so eloquently. Birds still sing, rain still comes, and days and nights still pass. And we are still loved, no matter what.