I stayed busy this last week. I did some walking to burn off the energy. Played ball with the rest of the pack, cleaned house from top to bottom. Removed Curly's crate from the house and stored away his diapers.
The farm does not wait for grief to pass. It does not allow a day spent in a bathrobe. Sheep rest in the barn in the heat of the day and chew cud. Water tanks need scrubbing out and re-filling. There is a scouring lamb that needs to be treated for coxy. Another has a swollen knee and needs antibiotics.
Eggs need gathering. The gardens need watering, the trees need spraying, the thistle needs Roundup. The zuchinni, yellow squash, and strawberries need to be harvested almost daily. And three other dogs demand my love.
Weekend work on the pond continues. Friends and family visit and make me laugh.
Earlier last week, I hit the local humane societies and animal control, a frenzied searching. Rushing by cages of faces. Some excited, some terrified, some beyond caring.
On the way home, I felt fatigued.
What I'm looking for is not out there. No matter where I search, I won't find him. He is gone. Even if I get another pug, it won't be Curl.
But compared to those poor dogs in those kennels, we have given our dogs the best of lives. They will live and die never knew how bad life can be for a dog.
I saw a really good movie last week, "Evan Almighty". I felt very at peace after seeing it. The message was that God has a plan for our lives, and His plan may not be the same as what we plan for ourselves. We need to trust Him.
The worse thing imaginable can happen to us, our greatest fears can come true, and we can not only survive the crisis, but come out stronger in the end.
We become what what God is molding us to be.