My baby boy, Curly Joe, went Home yesterday. I have a huge hole in my heart. The house seems too quiet. I miss him so bad.
His legs finally gave out. He was staggering when he walked like he had been hit by a car. He kept falling and crying because he couldn't get up again.
Tom had to make the call, I couldn't. I would have kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off....I know that's wrong.
I held his paw and prayed. I asked God to have Roscoe and Bonzai waiting for him, and for my friend Mike, who loves small dogs, to take care of him until I can join them. I prayed that I have been a good caretaker for all the animals God has lent me, and that I would behave myself with grace at the vet's office.
He crossed over well. We were both there, feeding him treats while he got the shot. He never felt the needle. His eyes lit up excitedly as he gobbled the food, and then he suddenly looked forward, ears pricked up, staring intently at something...an area of the room where no one was standing. A look of awareness and curiosity, then his head sank into my waiting hand.
I know my dog. He saw something that the rest of us could not see......yet.
And he was not afraid.
"How am I supposed to breathe? I try to relax. I touch your still frame. So I can watch you closer. And study the ways I believe I belong to you..."
Goodbye, my sweet, sweet baby boy. No one will ever replace you, I'll never feel the same way again. I can't stop crying.
'Til we meet again on the other side.