Tuesday, July 10, 2007

My baby boy, Curly Joe, went Home yesterday. I have a huge hole in my heart. The house seems too quiet. I miss him so bad.

His legs finally gave out. He was staggering when he walked like he had been hit by a car. He kept falling and crying because he couldn't get up again.

Tom had to make the call, I couldn't. I would have kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off....I know that's wrong.

I held his paw and prayed. I asked God to have Roscoe and Bonzai waiting for him, and for my friend Mike, who loves small dogs, to take care of him until I can join them. I prayed that I have been a good caretaker for all the animals God has lent me, and that I would behave myself with grace at the vet's office.

He crossed over well. We were both there, feeding him treats while he got the shot. He never felt the needle. His eyes lit up excitedly as he gobbled the food, and then he suddenly looked forward, ears pricked up, staring intently at area of the room where no one was standing. A look of awareness and curiosity, then his head sank into my waiting hand.

I know my dog. He saw something that the rest of us could not see......yet.
And he was not afraid.

"How am I supposed to breathe? I try to relax. I touch your still frame. So I can watch you closer. And study the ways I believe I belong to you..."

Goodbye, my sweet, sweet baby boy. No one will ever replace you, I'll never feel the same way again. I can't stop crying.

'Til we meet again on the other side.


Franna said...

Awwwwwww... Juliann. I'm so sad for you and yet glad Curly Joe is no longer suffering and had such a loving family. There are tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat as I read and write this. Those of us who've been blesed by sharing our lives with these special creatures know.
Giant Hugs!
- Franna

Michelle at Boulderneigh said...

"Rain" is falling in Oregon for you right now....

Bill Stearman said...

Hugs and prayers dear friend. I have been where you are.


Nancy K. said...

Know that you are loved, just as you loved Curly Joe. I know how much it hurts, right now, and I wish I could say that it will go away. But it won't. Fortunately, with time, you'll be able to remember the good times and even cry about the sad and still find happiness in your heart again.

I hope my friends who are waiting for me, on the other side of the rainbow bridge, and I can get together with you when we cross over to join our beloved animals that were SO much more than pets...

You're in my heart ~ Hugs ~


Kathy L. said...

Oh, Juliann...

I am so very sorry for your loss of beloved Curly Joe. I wish for the fond memories you have together to help ease the hole in your heart right now...with prayers that CJ keeps watch over you and yours.

I wish I were there to give you a big hug and a shoulder to lean on.

Juliann said...

Thank you everyone for the kind comments. We were fortunate to have a very long time with him, and we couldn't ask for a better passing than he had.
I'm sure all of you have been there, thank you for the understanding.
This is just the hardest part of having dogs in one's life, they are such much more than just pets.
I'd better stop before I start crying again, lol!

Tina T-P said...

Oh, we're so sorry for the loss of your little guy - I hope that all your good memories of him will help you thru this time as you get used to not having him around. Yes, they are very much more than pets, and those of us who are blessed to have these companions understand. Tina (Marietta Shetlands)

Kathy L. said...


You cry as much as you want to! My eyes were "leaking" as I read your post and I know we all have been there - and know we'll be there again rather than not have these wonderful friends in our lives.

Gail V said...

Oh Juliann,
I am so sorry your little dog had to go and leave you. I know it will take some time before the pain of loss lessens--
I remember.
best wishes,
Gail V.

I need orange said...

I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is when we must help them leave us behind.

-- Vicki in Michigan